Christian reputation and forgiveness

Recently, I was on facebook and saw a post by one of my friends, who claims to be a Christian. Here's what her wall post read (a censured version):

im seriously tired of all the bulls**. f*** religion, f*** Christians, f*** doctrines. I have God and he is all I need. So go right ahead and think that because i believe things you are too stupid or ignorant to even comprehend im going to hell in a hand basket. f*** you. Jesus and i are just gunna chill out in our little corner and read harry potter and laugh at all you morons. so to those of you who put way to much effort in living "godly" lives and always judge others, look in a f***ing mirror. i hope you see that you look just like those ugly a** pharisees that got nowhere by being religious.

When I saw that post, I was initially repulsed and annoyed with her behavior. I knew from previous experience that she drank, did drugs, and secretly got jailhouse tattoos with another friend of mine who claims to be 'Christian'. I'd seen her be unbelievably rude and sarcastic to the socially awkward kids at school, and literally lie her way out of everything. Her new facebook post was embarrassing, and I really did not need my atheist friends to get another reason to laugh at Christians. Gee girl, thanks for reinforcing the 'passionate-but-dumb hypocrite' stereotype. "Messed up ditz" and "pathetic outburst" would be the kindest phrases the atheists at my school would offer. They'd be followed by raised eyebrows and knowing smiles.

Even while I was still fuming, I started to feel a great sadness. Although her message was, in a way, a call for religious people to stop judging others, by no means was this (writing that facebook post) what I thought Jesus would do. It is not gracious and certainly not loving. I started thinking about how much this girl must have been hurt to have written such a strong public message. The bitterness she harbored in her heart compelled her to an extreme act of desperation, when no other consolation could be found. Looking at her from this perspective, my frustration suddenly vanished.

I wondered if this was a little like the forgiveness Jesus has shown us all along, every time we sin. He ultimately understands us better than we understand ourselves, and when we do something ridiculous, he still loves us. Even if it hurts him to watch us hurt ourselves, he still loves us. He still holds us responsible to our actions, but he is always willing to heal and help us out of our situation.

The ironic thing when I read my troubled friend's post was that instead of praying for her, I was more concerned with the Christian image being tarnished. As if I myself hadn't tarnished it enough already! As if all of us hadn't tarnished it enough already. No human is perfect, and I had mistakenly held this poor girl to a standard that I had no right to hold any Christian to. To recognize a sin is one thing, to judge and criticize is another. Alas, I still struggle with this fatal flaw of mine. But I think, if we are tempted in a similar situation, it's important to think about how Jesus would treat that person. And when we forgive, we really do need to 'forgive': "to give up claim to resentment", and let Jesus be the judge.

Back to our Beginnings

Well, it's certainly been a while since anyone has posted on the blog, but I kinda want to get back into the swing of things... If college apps. and school work allow me. :) But right now I have a few spare minutes, so here it goes...

I started thinking about the beginnings of mankind, our creation, time with God and fall, and decided I wanted to revisit them. So I read Genesis chapter 2 and 3 and am here to write about some of the things I found interesting:

God has always wanted to be in realationship with us. Unlike the other gods of history, like from Greece, Egypt, Mesopotamia, and other places, God's will and intention for humans has always been to have life, eternal life, not to be mortal and controled by death. This intention is shown as Adam and Eve had the freedom to eat from the Tree of Life (vs. 16). God also physically walked in Eden (vs. 8) which shows that the humans were used to being in close contact with them. The truth is that God does not desire for there to be a gap between Him and mankind, unlike what the worldly view of God says to be the case. He gave us the opprotunity right from the beginning to have a relationship with Him. This idea segways into the part where Adam and Eve no longer have access to the Tree of Life. Yes, it is God's decision to kick them out of the Garden, but it was of their doing. Ultimatly, Eve and Adam desired to be independent of God, not relying on Him but to be "like Him," as Satan tells them will happen (vs. 5). The only problem with the logic of Satan is that they were already "like God," as they were blameless and were God's friends. How could they ever have become more like God? However, Adam and Eve (just like the rest of mankind afterwards) decide to believe the words of the snake rather than God, which at that point it should have been obvious who to believe. A snake or God? Hmm... I wonder... God, obviously, and they could have, at any time, realized this and stopped themselves from disbelief and disobeying. So when God sends them from Eden, in effect sending them from His presence and from eternal life, this seperation was something that had already happened within their hearts. They no longer wanted to be close to God, as can be seen when they hide from Him (vs. 8). As a result, God's decision to send them from Himself is in a way granting their wishes, NOT His own desires; they could then be independent of God and did not have to be constantly reminded of their fall by being in His presense. But God has always continued to desire that we be close to Him and does not want seperation from Him to be brought upon any man or woman. However, since He is just and holy He cannot be near sinfulness.

There is another interesting part of chapert 3 where it talks about Adam and Eve trying to make cloths for themselves out of fig leaves (vs. 7). This action gives insight into human nature. When we are ashamed of ourselves, we try to hide the source of our shame from other humans and from God. While other people might be fooled by these attempts, God can see through them to our inmost self. He sees and understands the sources of our shame and only God can cover us so that we are eternally free from guilt. In terms of Eve and Adam, God helps them out in covering their shame: He "made garments of skin for Adam and his wife to wear and clothed them" (vs. 21). These cloths would have been a lot more effective than fig leaves. What can be drawn from this verse is that God, being full of grace, wants to provide for us even when we are far from Him; God still loves us and cares about us.

God proves His continued love for mankind throughout history, as He time and time again trys to draw near to us. Although many times God is met with falling away and disobedieance, He still perseveres to reach out to us. Ultimately, Jesus comeing to earth and taking responsibility for the consequences of our sin, thus offering us the Tree of Life, have reversed the effects of the fall. Jesus provides everyone and anyone with the life and freedom that Adam and Eve chose to take away from humans. We can be confident in this: that we do not have to suffer the consequences of the fall of mankind, but instead can have faith in Jesus and live.

In Christ

Last night at Grouplife we started our 7-week focus on Romans 8, and zeroed in on what it means to be "In Christ". To me, being "In Christ" means that in everything you do, say, or think, you are reflecting and channeling Jesus Christ. You are a fully devoted disciple and it is obvious to the world around you that you are. But the best part of being "In Christ" is that though it is not necessarily going to be easy, following God full-heartedly does make something easier. Being "In Christ" means you have an identity. Before you searched & searched and couldn't find who you truly are, but as you follow Christ and live in love, your purpose will unravel and your identity will be clear. Not being able to find an identity is frustrating and it will never make complete sense if one tries to search on their own. But with our lives "In Christ" and our identities built on Him, we gain a new confidence and direction, something only Christ can pour into us.This quote from the book Captivating explains it in a great way (the references can be changed to male, of course):

"A woman in Christ ... knows whose she is, and therefore knows who she is. " -Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge pg. 199

This quote is totally reaffirming that those who realize they belong to Christ and are in him ultimately know who they themselves are. God gave us each personalities and crafted each of us a beautiful lifestory, and by being "In Christ" that story of who we are meant to be unravels. But when we do not follow God, we stray from our identities - who we are meant to be - and in that, we are lost.

I think anyone who believes that they are "In Christ" can remember when they were lost. But now that we've found God, our life has become new in our true identities. To me, that is what is crucial. Anyone who is "In Christ" shows clear evidence in their lives that they have changed and that they are drastically different from their past in perspective and interactions. Yes, God has made us into new creations - the old has gone and the new has come. And in that new life is our identity in Christ, and it's the most fulfilling life ever, even beyond what we could hope for.

Pop Songs about Jesus

I was listening to "She is Love" by Parachute (listen to the song by clicking on the title) the other day and I realized something big! If the lyrics were changed from "she" to "He" or "her" to "Him" it could be about Jesus's love, in fact the words would be more appropriate if it were about Jesus instead of a girl. Here are the lyrics, transformed slightly:

I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around,
But sHe takes it all for me.
And I lost my faith, in my darkest days,
But sHe makes me want to believe.

They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
SHe is love, and sHe is all I need.

Well I had my ways, they were all in vain,
But sHe waited patiently.
It was all the same, all my pride and shame,
And sHe put me on my feet.

They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
SHe is love, and sHe is all I need.

And when that world slows down, dear.
And when those stars burn out, here.
Oh sHe'll be there, yes sHe'll be there,
They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
They call her Him love, love, love, love, love.
They call her Him love, love, love, love. love.

SHe is love, and sHe is all I need,
SHe is love, and sHe is all I need, 
SHe is love, and sHe is all I need.

This is pretty much a perfect song about what Jesus embodies for us. Literally, every single line in this song is a perfect representation of Jesus and what he does for us with his love. As you read the verses, I think it becomes blatantly obvious how Jesus totally did those things for us, and that a person could never replicate that to an extent even close. Let's take a look specifically at the first verse, the bridge, and the repeating chorus:

I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around,

But sHe takes it all for me. (Jesus did that on the cross. He took all our sin and all our pain by pouring all His love on me - as in, you - by dying for us. To be honest, I don't even really get this line. Another human could never take all of your pain. I guess they could help alleviate it with encouragement and love, but no one can just take it all for you. And it's okay, because Jesus already did.)

And I lost my faith, in my darkest days,

But sHe makes me want to believe. (We do lose a grip on our faith sometimes, and we do hit rough patches in life where it seems like there is not light or good in the world, but truly and honestly, Jesus is an inspiration, He is hope, He is what we believe in and why we believe in goodness. Jesus constantly makes me want to believe in life being better.)

And when that world slows down, dear.

And when those stars burn out, here.

Oh sHe'll be there, yes sHe'll be there. (When the stars literally burn out, when the world comes to an end, Jesus is all that remains. Yes, He will be there.)

They call her Him love, love, love, love, love. (x3)

SHe is love, and sHe is all I need. (You've probably noticed by now that Parachute repeats "love" over and over and OVER; they almost seem like they're overusing it. In fact, they use it 40 times - I counted. :) This is clearly some crazy amazing love they're talking about. But really look at this recurring chorus phrase. They call Him love. He is love. He is all I  need. It's so true. We do call Jesus love, because he IS love, he embodies it, it's what he lived for, it's what he does, and His love makes us beloved. And yup, He IS all we need and will ever need. His love overpowers anything that another human could pour on us, His love overpowers Satan's hatred and lies. He is love and He is all we need.)
 
Although I understand a lot of these phrases in the song are metaphors for how great the songwriter views the love of a girl, the metaphors are just too exaggerated. This could never be a song about a girl, because no girl, no human could ever be this perfect for us, it just isn't possible. But as a man, and also as God, Jesus was this for us. If we take the metaphors literally, it's Jesus' love exactly. Can you think of any other pop songs out there that talk about a perfect love that no person could ever give, except Jesus? People want that perfect love, they envision it all the time - they sing about it! - but you can't get it from another human being. We are simply too flawed! And the amazing thing is Jesus already showed it to us, we just need to truly understand how perfect his love is.

Center

These past few days have been a stark reminder to me of how important it is to let distractions get in the way of God. It's come for me in the form of my expectations and ambitions disappointing me. This whole past year, ever since the end of January, God has undoubtedly and unceasingly been growing me. But it's because I've finally turned to him for everything - guidance, encouragement, peace, and the greatest love. And it's such a beautiful great thing that when we are faithful to God, we notice that He is faithful to us, forever faithful. But something so amazing can be easily taken for granted. Even though as God grows me and continually reveals new things to my life, it can easily become old. And when that happens, I find that I start trying to rely on myself and my own desires instead of God. I become ambitious, which is by no means a bad thing - you need goals to grow - but what happens is something this quote explains:   

"Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have."

And it finally hit me today that maybe the reason why I'm not as happy as I'm used to being lately is because I'm not trusting that God will give me the things I need, even though He has been doing just that for over half a year. Also, I am a strong believer that selfishness is pretty much the root of all evil and unhappiness. We don't deserve anything good - because we have not been good to the One who created good - and yet He provides it to us in abundant amounts. But as I turn my sights back on Jesus, the One who rescued me, and all of His glory, I'm already feeling so much more at peace with myself and confident about what's to come.

People Around Me

Hey this is a poem I wrote last year for my English class. We were told to go home and write a page about whatever was on our hearts. I have been wanting to post it for a while and now I just figured out how. I hope that God uses it to inspire you to reach out to your classmates in this upcoming year. Its titled "People Around Me"

I look around and see people all around me.

What goes on in their hearts I do not know,

Do they let their true selves show?

Every night do tears drench their faces,

Like a heavy rain leaving no dry places?

Do they find themselves always wanting more,

Never satisfied with what this world has to offer?

Have their lives been torn apart by divorce?

Are they running a never-ending racecourse?

Trying to compete with all those around,

Afraid if they fall they may not be able to rebound?

Are they never satisfied with themselves,

Storing all their sins away on ceaseless bookshelves?

Do they carry their sins around on their shoulders,

Weighing them down like big heavy boulders?

Are they about to give in to the weight that they carry,

Thinking they will forever be wary?

Listening to all those around who say they are fools,

Lord help me to show them that what you see is a Jewel,

Sure they may still be in the rough,

But for you God, no heart is too tough.

No sin can take way his love,

Leaving high heaven above,

He came down to save us because of his great love.

He lived a life with no sin and no shame,

And died on the cross taking on all our blame.

He rose again three days later,

He beat the clenches of death for he is much greater.

He died once and for all,

His death saved us from the fall,

Lord help me to project this to all that I meet,

Use me as your hands and feet.

To help them to see,

All that separates them from you is acceptance of your gift, so free.

No we did not earn it, its true,

But Jesus died for all including me and you.

A Truer You

So this past weekend and 3 days, I got the honor to be a leader at Wenatchee, the junior high summer camp at Overlake. Looking back on it all, I definitely learned how extremely life-changing it is to just let go & let god. (Clicking the title leads you to a song that I think fits my big lesson from camp.) I came into camp consumed with worry, not knowing what to expect, and doubting that I'd be able to reach out and connect with these students with the personality I have. I tried preparing my heart for camp, but instead I just found doubt from the lies Satan tried to feed me. In fact, I think doubt is the hugest weapon Satan has against us. He tries to find places where he can take away our confidence due to our inexperience.

I guess you could say that after that, I - in a sense - gave up trying. I didn't analyze in my head what I thought someone would say if I said a certain thing, I didn't decide to not talk to a student because I didn't think they'd accept me, I didn't not sit down at lunch with unfamiliar students to avoid an awkward situation, I didn't hold back in fear that I'd get the wrong reaction. That's exactly it: I didn't hold back, I let God do what he wanted with me. I feel like during this whole camp I wasn't even really in my own mind, I just took every opportunity I had to connect with students and other leaders, and let God do the rest. I let God lead me as a leader.

And God did provide. He gave me peace and he let me be who I am meant to be. He allowed me to connect deeply with the girls in my group and students outside of my group. I've been reading a book; it's called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. And there was this one line that has meant so much to me:

God, in his faithfulness, is changing me...  In fact, instead of making me someone else, he is making me more me. And that is one of the beautiful things about him. The more his we become, the more ourselves we become; more our true selves. (Pg. 134)

I think my experience at camp is an example of me being more me in my life. When we let God lead us, he puts us in a place where we are most useful, where we are needed to spread his glory. He reveals the purpose of who we truly are in Him. And I can look back on how God has worked in me to know in the future that it's the truth. God's plan is good.

Liberation from Lies

This past week I was at our church summer camp, in which the speaker, Bob, preached to us about the truth of Jesus' love for us. He challenged us to confront the lies that we tell ourselves everyday and to tell these lies (which are of Satan, who is the father of all lies) to go back to Hell where they came from. He stressed that the Truth about Jesus will set us Free.

This message was super crucial for me to hear and internalize, because all of my life I've been telling myself that I'm disliked, unattractive, and useless. These labels are lies straight from the devil and he is using them as footholds to get into my life. Since God lives within me, Satan can't truly have power over me, so instead he uses my own self-doubts to weasel his way into my perspective on life and decision-making. That is the way he drags me down from God. (Luckily, God will always pursue me. When I begin to get far from Him, He will bring me back to His Truth, like by talking through Bob at our summer camp. Hurray!) The problem in the whole situation is that knowing this truth sometimes is not enough to actually believe it. Since I've been listening to Satan's lies for so long (since 2nd grade) it is difficult to remember to fight the lies. Rather than confront the lies head-on, I let them exist within me and still listen to them. Therefore, in order to be liberated, I need to immerse myself daily in God's Truth and when I feel the lies begin to penetrate me, to turn immediately to God. The Truth is that I've been blessed with people who love me, that I'm created in God's image and that I'm filled with a purpose. God's Truth will liberate me by knocking down all of Satan's footholds. Boy, am I glad that the Truth will always conquer the lies!

Beautiful People

(You can click the title to hear a song I chose that goes well with this blog post :)
This post is kind of an in-depth addition to Julia's previous post.
Have you ever realized that when you get to know someone better, their faces become more beautiful to you? There's got to be something about that that has to do with psychology. Maybe it's that when someone becomes more familiar to you, it's more comfortable to you and for that reason you can easily accept the familiarity of their appearance.

But I think more than that everything links back to God's hand in things, that he created us and chose us to have the natural features we have. Just a tiny change to someone's face is extremely noticeable and can completely change how they look, the angle of a nose, the cheekiness of someone's smile, the shape of one's eyebrows, an extra wrinkle in a smile, the width of an eye. There are just so many combinations of features that go into a face, and for that reason each face is absolutely unique, just as God planned it. What's more, God planted a future, a plan, a personality into each one of our hearts. When you combine that special unique face with a particular personality, you get a life that is absolutely one-of-a-kind - unrepeatable and irreplaceable. That's the catch: every life is precious and beautiful.

It is the norm in society to love people who are physically beautiful. But how about we begin loving people in order find the great beauty that lies behind their appearances, the beauty of their souls that make their physical beauty amazing in every single way. Because everlasting beauty is found within, it's a beauty that will never die. Perfect skin and luscious hair will inevitably fade with time, but personality and purpose won't. Society doesn't decide who's the most beautiful, God does and he made each individual beautiful and unrepeatable, precious beyond measure.

People are Like Tie-Died T-Shirts!

Just this Sunday I was at my friend's, Joyce's, birthday party and at the party we tie-died white T-shirts. The entire experience was loads of fun, but I think what was also fun was to go home and imagine what my shirt would look like. Well, I can tell you, it turned out even better than expected!

What is really cool, is to see all the other shirts that were made too, because each shirt is totally unique. Even though they are all different, it doesn't mean that one is better than the other, because they were all made with excitement and anticipation.

The T-shirts that we made are like people, who are created with love and excitement and anticipation by God. He makes each of us different, but not in a way that we can make comparisons; instead, in a way that speaks to His creativity. We are each beautiful, awesome creations of the master artist!

Our Soul: An Eternal Alignment

Did you know that within every one of us there is a part of our making that is eternal, which is called our soul. If you think about it, our soul, since it's eternal, is part of the spiritual world around us. It's alive and very involved with the other eternal powers that are within this world.

When I mention "eternal powers," I mean either the power of Love or the power of Hate. Both of these forces influence the world, and its events and people. Love is a blanket term that represents whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable (Philippians 4:8). In short, love is God. Hate, on the other hand, is a blanket term that stands for whatever is fallen from God: deceit, betrayal, revenge, envy, ect.

Throughout our lives, we choose which side we want to align ourselves with. We can either focus on Love and live our lives seeking God or we can choose to live a fallen life. A fallen life is any life that has rejected or ignored Jesus' grace and redemption, which He offers to us freely. Through either choice, our soul becomes a part of something eternal. We just have to ask ourselves: what do we want our lives to be centered around? What story are we a part of?

Jesus be my everything

During the last couple of weeks, I've been going back and forth on having a HUGE crush on someone. We've gone a lot through out this year and lately i've been thinking about how in our friendship I am the only one taking the time to pray for him text him first and also say hi. But i can't let him define who i am I know my heart belongs to Jesus and he should be the lover of my soul. I do hope him and I go back of being friends. Right now I have to find my worth in Jesus please be my everything.

Not Judgment Day Yet

I'm sure you might've heard about the buzz around today, May 21st being Judgment Day. And that clearly has not happened. Jesus clearly states in the Bible that we will not know when he returns, only God does. Judgment day will sneak on us like a thief in the night. It's not something that can be predicted, and won't fulfill a prediction on a specific day. The Bible is clear as daylight on that:

“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. - Matthew 24:36 (ESV)

Morever, Revelations speaks so much about what the Rapture will be like. Earth and its denizens will be deeply uprooted and put into turmoil by natural disasters and lack of faith. And although we have had numerous devastating natural disasters lately, this is nothing compared to what Revelations goes into detail about.

But more important than anything else is something my Dad was talking about. He heard this from a pretty well-known Christian radio speaker. This man explained in a letter to the people group believing in May 21st as Judgment Day, that though he hoped for Jesus to return and for us to be reunited with him on this day, it isn't how God says it will work. God will give us the ability to discern his son's coming. He will let us know that Jesus is back at the time of his return, because we will be ready and we will know, when other people may not know. As for predicting the day of his return, we will not be able to predict it and it's not our job to try and do it. And just as a good rule of thumb, we should live each day as the last. Because our lives can be taken away at any time and Jesus could return at any time as well.

Bottom line: we cannot ever possibly judge the day when God will judge us. But when it happens, we will know, and for those that are ready, it will be the best feeling of knowing ever.

Is Friendliness Enough??

The other night as I was falling asleep, I thought about how we are always told to be friendly to everyone . As I was thinking about this common mandate, I realized that friendliness has the potential to fall short of the life that Jesus calls us to live, as His followers.

This realization came after I had seen a homeless man outside my church a few Sundays ago. Although I greeted him and invited him into the church as I walked past, I now understand that that friendliness was not what was needed. That man wanted a friend. He was truly in need of someone going over to him, sitting down on the bench, and taking the time to talk with him.

From this experience, I understand we are called by Jesus to LOVE everyone we meet and love does not mean acting with superficial kindness. No. Instead, to love someone is to value them. Even if we will never see them again, we need to view our relationship with them as more then just an act of "friendliness." We should treat them with respect, honesty and true kindness. This type of friendship, even if lasting for a moment, will have the strength to show someone Jesus' love. It will be strong enough to break down barriers of distrust, so that we can show them that Jesus also wants to be their friend.

Love is for Everyone

So, you'd be crazy if you didn't know that Osama Bin Laden died yesterday on May 1, 2011 in the hands of America. Obviously, there's been an enormous buzz on his death and a lot of jubilant celebration, as well as a reminder that the September 11 attack was around a decade ago.

I think it is absolutely reasonable to be happy with the rest of America that the leader, who caused so much pain, has been killed, but a part of me is wondering if that is the right way to respond. You see, I think it's good that "justice has been done", especially if this operation does end up helping disband the organization Bin Laden started, but as Christians we are called to love everyone and be forgiving and hope that people are able to enter Heaven and not face Hell. Here's a quote:

Christians, we never have a reason to rejoice over a soul going to Hell, no matter what they may have done to you or your country. 

- Jonathan Lewis

Now I'm not saying that I take one side over the other, I'm just kind of conflicted. Clearly, Osama Bin Laden was the cause of nearly 3,000 of deaths and his existence thus far would have projected the reason for numerous additional deaths, so it's a great thing that this noxiously powerful and influential man has been killed and hopefully is preventing more deaths. And as much as we should celebrate the justice aspect, I don't want to disregard the fact that Osama Bin Laden is probably in Hell right now and that idea right now is not something I am going to be jubilant over. But I talked to my parents about this, and they kind of concluded that yes, it's sad that he has to go to Hell, but clearly that's the judgment he deserves (and so do the rest of us), but it's because he never believed or trusted in the power and love of Jesus (which is what has redeemed us). And it's unfortunate, but it's reality. But I'd also love to hear what you think about this issue, and comment below.

All in all though, Jesus calls us to love everyone. We need to be forgiving and loving towards everyone no matter who they are and how they have persecuted us. There may be people who go against our beliefs, but we should still show our love towards them. Because our love has no discrimination and no boundaries. It is a love of unconditional high regard. Since that is what Jesus showed us in the first place, unconditional love that overpowers all the hate we've ever expressed and all the sins we've ever committed. He is love.

Living by Example

In Galations 1:12 (NCV), Paul says:
"I did not get it [the Good News] from humans, nor did anyone teach it to me, but Jesus Christ showed it to me."

I think the real hard-hitting importance of this passage is the word "showed". It's not right for a person to say one thing, and live the other way - preach one thing and perform the opposite. And I've been increasingly aware of the fact that I see it in my own life.

In recent months, I've found that by pursuing the word of God and life change, God has revealed to me new ways to understand scripture and apply it to my life. He has also given me a new strength and passion with how I interact with people. But I think that as I seek to see people experience life change like how I have, I become less compassionate and more focused on rules. It's easy to say that life should be lived a certain way, but it's another thing to make those things a routine in personal life. And what I need is to find a balance. But at the heart of everything, if I want to see life change in others and encourage people to seek God, I must show that in my own life first.

People will respond when they see the change in your life, of responding to Christ's love. Rebecca Manley Pippert put it this way, "People will understand as much of the love of God as they see in our own lives." And I think that's an important concept to dwell on.

Fill Up

The sermon for Grouplife on Wednesday was marvelous. Rory was talking about how digging into God's word is like fuel to fill up life's tank and it got me thinking. So, first I think I should set out some foundations of what he was saying. He focused on this verse:

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success
-Joshua 1:8 (ESV)

And said:
Some world religions, Buddhism for example, are about ridding oneself of all desire, becoming empty. And meditation in those cultures is about being able to think about nothing, which is kind of an oxymoron in itself. But what God wants for us is to fill us up, rather than leave us empty. The meaning of meditation in the Joshua verse is to read in on God's word, so that we may live our lives exactly how God has communicated that we should.

After hearing that, I thought of a different sermon that I'd heard at Leavenworth. And I find myself constantly coming back to this idea that: When it comes to a relationship with Jesus, if you are not growing, you are dying. Nick mentioned this at the winter retreat, but it's basically the idea that you cannot rely on your past experiences to sustain your faith. They are not enough to keep you strong in Christ. Growth must not only be intentional, but also routine. And you could easily apply these principles to exercising. If you exercise really hard once a year, it's going to get you nowhere, but if you exercise half an hour every week, the routine commitment will lead you to make progress in staying healthy and growing stronger.

In essence, what I was thinking was how you could combine both ideas. Experiences, like camps and learning at church and being with God's people, will make the capacity of our tank grow larger and larger in order that we will be able to hold more knowledge and understanding of God. But, unless our tank - our potential of knowing God better - is filled with the fuel from God's word, the past growth of our tank that has prepared us to gain more wisdom and a closer relationship will all be useless. Again, it can be applied with exercise. The more we exercise, the more we get the ability to exercise longer, harder, and in increasing complexity. The improvement developed from routine activities is exponential. The more you read the Bible, the better you will get at picking out the wisdom and applying it to your life, and pretty much living out God's hope for you. I guess the idea is to:

1. Fill up life's tank with God's word.
2. Make your tank capacity grow.
3. Repeat, constantly.

Comfort

The last few days have been scary for me as I find anxiety and depression completely taking over and consuming my thoughts and actions. I can't go an hour without trembling. Worst feeling.

Some people claim that true Christians never get depressed or worry, or have major "issues", but that's just sickening and wrong! Sure, the last week I've neglected my exercise and spending time with God, but that doesn't make me any less of a Christian. Or any less LOVED by Him. I think it is in these times that my life has the most purpose instead of (how I feel) the least purpose. In these times of darkness over my mind and body, the Lord is trying to get my attention. When I need Him the most, He reaches out to me the most. He is my comfort. It is in these times that I force myself to see him and he meets me right where I am. God's love and comfort is what helps me keep breathing.

These verses comfort me the most:

Hebrews 13:5-6 God has said, "Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."

Psalm 34:4: "I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears."

Matthew 6:27: "Can any of you add a single hour to your life by worrying?"

My God, My Love

Hi everyone! I want to share a poem that I wrote on the way to a mission trip in Chile.  I was sitting in the plane admiring the sunrise when I was inspired to write this:

My God, My Love
You are the sunrise that brightens the sky
kissing the world with Your beauty
like soft rosy petals
drifting to settle on mountaintops

Your love surrounds us as we live out our life
like strolling through fields of yellow daisies
sun-kissed
that wait for us to bend
to breath their aroma

Your love is like those daisies
who wait and wait
patient
and wait
longing for our response
and wait and wait
but are not idle in the waiting

for while You waited scarlet blood seeped from Your holy hands
death became Life
the world thrown on its head
...or maybe
it is now the right way up

as the world cartwheels I open my eyes
Your glory, brilliant, shines
stronger than the noon sun
renewing

Your love surrounds me and I frolic among the daisies

Chazown

So lately I've been wandering through life super unsure of myself and what I'm supposed to be doing. Part of the student leadership program at OCC that I'm involved with is participating in the Chazown experience (click on the title to go to the webpage). For those of you that don't know Chazown is either a Greek or Hebrew(not really sure.....) word for vision and you should definitely check out the website. In this experience, we are finding vision for our lives that will follow along with God's plan and purpose. I had to set some goals in order to get my life into a place where I can really serve God's purpose for me. I have decided to work on my work/school life and my relationships with people, and hopefully by writting this, it'll keep me accountable for myself and anyone who reads this can help keep me acountable. So here tis': 1) work/school: for 30 days, i will do all my homework and come prepared to class every day 2) relationships: for 90 days, i will call at least one person once a week that I do not talk to often So here's the rundown: This isn't something I can do on my own, but it's going to be something I do with the Lord's strength and prayer. Feel free to chat to me about this. :)

God's crazy

Gods crazy? Yes HE is. He is crazy amazing!! Haha. I have been going up and down these past few months with my relationship with God and last night I was in Pursuit (a student lead worship chapel at my school) and was just able to sit and read my bible. I came across James 1. Now I am a big believer in the book of James and if you never know what to read I highly suggest it. Anyways, I am reading James and for some reason the passage just really got to me. Like James 1:21 in the NLT, it says:

So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

Like wow!!! Its just so crazy how deep the bible gets. I know that people know to put there faith in God because he died for us to save us, but right here it says it in plain jane! So now, people are probably thinking, what would be considered filth and evil? and is it always there? and how do we get rid of it?

I would say if you believe in Jesus and love him and try to live a life that is pleasing to him then there most likely isn't much evil and filth. Also once you accept this truth about Jesus and God then your slate is wiped clean so you don't have to worry about how to get rid of it. And for people that feel like there is stuff still there, just talk to God about it and he will clean it all up for you!

MCKENZIE

♥ FAVORITE VERSE:
Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light.
-Matthew 6:19-22 (The Message)

♥ TESTIMONY:
I've grown up in a Christian home all my life. I've been blessed with an amazing family whose support in my spiritual walk has been IMMENSE. I'm home schooled, which is also an amazing experience which helped me find my footing at a young age. So, I guess you could say I've had a pretty "easy" life. I met God intimately when I was 7, and have followed Him ever since. But while my life was "easy" and safe, I wasn't growing and understanding like I wanted to. God was just always there, and I wasn't actively pursuing and pushing myself. 7th grade was when I started to ask questions, and a lot of that curiosity came from church. I met people who LOVED and KNEW God, and who loved people the way Jesus loved people. I got involved, went to camps, and became a Student Leader. I continued to grow, and am now leading a group of incredible seventh grade girls. I guess my testimony is pretty typical, but I've had my ups and downs. I've seen God work, and am so stoked to see what He is planning!

The Ultimate Acceptance

So, recently I was talking to a friend from school named Tyler. We talked about the issue of acceptance and after sleeping on it, I got inspired by the conversation. This is what I realized:

As humans, we are constantly and naturally looking to others for approval and for acceptance. But at the end of the day, no amount of acceptance from other people will be enough to satisfy you. Until you learn to accept yourself, life cannot be fulfilling or satiable. But I believe that the only way to personally accept that you are worthy is to realize that a greater being, that God, loves and accepts you exactly the way you are.

Because face it, your thoughts alone aren't enough to give you confidence in yourself, because when you depend on yourself, that becomes borderline egotistical. And even acceptance from someone else, by itself, is not going to be enough, because they are human just like you. The thing about God's acceptance is that it's a love from someone else, who is above all else, and above you. His is the only acceptance that will ever matter & the only one that really counts.

And the amazing thing is that this is an acceptance that you don't have to prove your worth for, because He already accepts and loves you for the person you are, for what you've overcome, and for who you've become. In his eyes, you are beloved. And that's the one love that matters and it's already there. And you know what? There is nothing you could ever do to make God love you more.

You are worthy, you are loved, and you were created in God's image to have a purpose in this world. 

Sorrow to Salvation

Lately, I have been thinking about the tsunami in Japan a few weeks ago, and how that tragedy fits in with God's plans and God's actions. Also, I was looking back through my journal of devotions notes, and I realized that I wrote about the same verse twice, and I think it's quite fitting for this subject:

"The kind of sorrow God wants makes people change their hearts and lives, this leads to salvation, and you cannot be sorry for that. But the kind of sorrow the world has brings death." - 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NCV)

In essence, I do think that everything happens for a purpose, but whether the event that happened was in God's control or not could go either way, and we can never know. In church today, Professor Kowalski talked about this, and he called it "divine ambiguity". The fact that there are some doctrine things that we are given the benefit of the doubt. Because if we knew everything, we wouldn't need to have faith or place trust in God. And the truth that there are topics that people can take different ways, so that people can uniquely apply it to their lives.

So whether or not God's hand was involved in the earthquake and tsunami in Japan is something we will not be fully sure of while living on this Earth. And maybe God kept another natural disaster from coming somewhere else, but that's something we'd know even less. We could keep questioning and doubting, but that would get us nowhere, because God works on his own time and reveals certain things to us to guide us, but not to drag us. He gives us freedom, but he still actively pursues us!

But the foundation still stands that our world is broken by sin, and we don't deserve anything less than death and hopelessness. When God gave us everything, we turned away from his compassion and the chance to live with him. Our sin creates a barrier with him and with happiness. Luckily, God is compassionate and offers salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. So that even in our sorrows, we can find hope in Jesus' absolute love for us. And because of our sorrows and pain, we may realize that we are nothing without God.

That is what 2 Corinthians 7:10 is saying. God never gives us more than we can handle. He may allow us to go through sorrow, because he knows that in the end it will make us stronger and happier. But he never supports the sorrow or sadness that we feel, those worldly things that nothing good comes out of. Blessings can come out of bad things; and in the end God is not to blame, He is the one to behold.

SHAYLA

♥ FAVORITE VERSE:
Can any of you add a single hour to the length of your life by worrying?
-Matthew 6:27 (ISV)

♥ TESTIMONY:
I grew up with an amazing family in the church, and accepted Jesus in preschool. I didn't really know what it meant, I just knew that that's what we did. When I was seven years old, I started experiencing extreme anxiety and panic attacks (I could describe how detrimental and downright scary panic attacks are, but if you really gotta know...look it up), but I never told anyone because I thought I was dying. It got progressively worse and when I was in 5th grade I had become so anxious that I couldn't eat. I could feel my body draining of energy and became so weak that I couldn't get out of bed or off the couch. Even though I really didn't understand the plans God had for me, or how he would enter my life, I was really comforted by reading the bible and talking to him. I would read Psalms mostly because it gave me just a little bit of hope. Around 7th grade, my panic attacks got so bad that I finally told my mom and we went to the doctor and I learned about my panic and anxiety disorders. That summer I went to a camp with my church's youth group and I experienced God through worship and fellowship in a way that I hadn't before. That was when it became real to me that I wasn't hopeless, and that God's love is for EVERYONE. That first summer gave me motivation to chase after Jesus, and over the years I grew in my faith and relationship with Him. Now in my life, I still deal with anxiety and depression on a daily basis, but it doesn't rule my life anymore. I'm so thankful that I deal with it, because the biggest struggles in life can teach you who you really are. Through this I've learned that on my own, I'm useless. I can't do life without God. I NEED God. It's the most humbling experience and journey. I now look at my anxiety as a blessing rather than a disorder. God has used something so ugly and life-taking to give me motivation to do something about it. I just got so fed up with life that my only option was to trust in God, and actually fight for him. He has given me strength, comfort, and the ability to help others in this painful situation. I've learned that God doesn't make situations easier, but there is no 'self-help' book out there that can compare to His support and love.