And the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
-Isaiah 35:10 (NIV)
♥ TESTIMONY:
I’ve always gone to church, but for a couple of years I wasn't close to God at all. This was happening around third grade, when I was going to a very familiar school with all the same kids since kindergarten. This made me feel as though I was "popular" b/c I basically knew everyone. I would always try to act cool and fit in with everyone else. To do this, I began to cuss and act rebellious. This type of attitude isn't really in my nature, so not only was I acting wrongly but I was also not being true to myself. This caused a lot of emotional turmoil. As you can imagine, during this time I was very far from God. I’m not sure if that was a result of my choices or if my choices were a result of my distance. I think perhaps the second one. anyways, the summer after third grade I didn't have that many chances to be with friends, because I went on a family road trip, and without their influence in my life I began to realize how screwed up I was. I really felt my separation from God and I didn't want that. I wanted to be close to God.
So in the fall of fourth grade I got baptized and was determined to achieve my wish. It’s a process that I’m still working on, but I am growing in Him. I actually feel like He's part of my life now, instead of like some distant uncle who I write a letter to only once in a while. Along the way, some of the things that bring me closer to God are the joy that I feel because of Him. One of the reasons that I had realized my life needed fixing was my unhappiness, but now I am filled with joy. Another is the peace of mind I get from God. I’ve always struggled with self-esteem and liking myself, but with God in my life I feel loved and know that He thinks I’m a piece of art; He makes me feel cherished when I’m really down on myself. Prayer is another huge thing that connects me with God. I don't think that I have ever prayed a serious prayer that went unanswered. This tells me that God cares about my needs, values, and blesses me. Not only that, but in the beginning when I would still have doubts, these answered prayers kept me remembering that God really does exist and loves me.
I just have one more thing to say that has shaped my walk with God. I would consider myself an intellectual person. In most situations this is good, however, when it came to God my brain used to get in the way of surrendering myself completely to Him. When the bible says, love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, it means all of you. But I was having trouble giving up my heart to God; this was a huge road block in God's path for me. Finally, at the first winter retreat I went to, I was able to surrender all of me to God. Now I feel so much closer to Him since that; I feel even more fulfilled than I ever did before.
3.25.11
3.25.11
